Narrow Your Focus for a Broader Vision

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 Narrow Your Focus for a Broader Vision
Vinita Dawra Nangia

A narrow focus is credited with many a success, but it is the broader vision behind it that gives our focus the right direction

Deep in a book as the car took me to office, I looked up and saw a vision to gladden the soul – a beautiful patch of green hedged in by a glorious floral palette. For a moment I was disoriented; where was I? Surely this wasn’t my usual office route. Bedazzled by the vision, it took a couple of moments before things around regained their everyday drabness for me; indeed it was my usual route. But for a moment my focus had narrowed to the patch of beauty amidst the chaos, all else had been pushed to the periphery. 

   

I have looked for the patch every day since, but it never again had the same impact, because once again I was seeing it as part of a broader vista. It was the intense focus of the moment that created magic that day. It set me thinking on the importance of a narrow focus, which one is generally told to avoid in favour of a broader focus. How can that be? If a narrow focus can acquaint one with such soul-stirring beauty, it has to be a good thing.    

A lot of good things in life require us to narrow our focus. To meditate effectively, we need to narrow our focus almost to a pinpoint. Medical treatments — from the microscope to the laser — are all about a narrower, more focused process. Even to look far into the distance, we narrow our gaze by squinting to get a clearer vision.    

New business practices consider a narrow focus essential for success. Research shows that no company can succeed by trying to be all things to all people – it needs to narrow focus on one unique value it can deliver in a chosen market.    

Quite often, the narrow aspect you choose to focus on defines you. Take for instance the movie The Lunchbox. Some viewers came away with a general feel of having watched a good film, some shared a quote or two from the movie. But one friend surprised me by saying what he liked best were the contents of the tiffin box, especially the brinjals. And then my bureaucrat sister who has worked long in the field of child labour, shook me further by saying, “It pains me to see Indian kids still out of school… wasted generations, wasted resources, wasted lives. Did you notice those kids singing in the local train in the film?” I saw them sis, but not quite the way you did.    

A narrow focus is critical; however in order to narrow that focus in the right direction, you need a broader vision. Meditation may require a narrow focus, and yet you do it to understand a broad focus of life. Healing may require specialists, but who can deny the significance of the physician who takes an overall view? A business narrows its focus based on its broader vision. Too much of a narrow-focus vision and tense, constricted attention leads to stress and disquiet; you need your moments of open focus to relax.    

So, the vision needs to be broad, within which we need to narrow focus in specified areas. Just as while walking or driving, you use broader vision to get a general idea of the road and then focus on the immediate step ahead. 

Courtesy : Times of India, Mumbai.

The author Vinita Dawra Nangia is a Senior Editor with The Times of India. Readers who want to keep track of her postings can follow her blog O-zone which reflects her incisive insights into the world around, offering a newer way of looking at life, people and the situations they find themselves in. 

Discover Your Passion

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Discover Your Passion - Bindiya Murgai

(The author is a neuro linguistic programming life coach & inner work therapist) 

Weave in a few conscious measures into your work life and see how everything changes for the better

Spirituality and the workplace may seem like an oxymoron; after all it is difficult to ‘be spiritual’ in a crowded, competitive, materialistic and often frustrating environment. To find the Divine there may seem a little challenging, at first, because most traditional spiritual disciplines are not designed to help you do that. But irrespective of whether you are a BPO executive, doctor, lawyer, architect or artist, you can weave spirituality into your work life with a few conscious measures.

Start with the belief that you can turn the grind of your workplace into grist for your spiritual mill. Then adopt the following measures and see how your life changes.

1. Identify Your Personal Values: 
These values are the ones that give you the greatest joy and satisfaction. You feel deeply passionate about them as they come naturally and do not create any internal conflict. These values often surface during challenging times or when you are forced to make difficult life choices, such as after great personal or professional loss, the onset of a serious illness, an operation or burnout.

Most people’s innermost values emanate from family, work, self and service. These could include personal accomplishments, security, independence, friendships, integrity, power or community work. Identify yours and write them down. Then have a look at them every day.

2. Get Work-life Balance: 
Once you have narrowed down on your innermost values, reorganise your work and activities around them. For example, if you need more work-life balance, then start by planning your day more efficiently. Avoid spending too much time on social networking sites, coffee breaks or chat sessions and procrastination. You will be amazed at how much time you will save.

Be open to realistically realigning your ambitions accordingly. Take on only as much as you can comfortably manage within your regular working hours. Learn to say “No”. It is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

3. Practise Work Wisdom: 
Be understanding with your peers and colleagues, irrespective of their power or position. Avoid being part of office politics and discourage your team from doing so. Keep your interactions transparent. Minimise conflict; nip it in the bud by having a straightforward chat with the person concerned.

Keep an open mind and be tolerant of other people’s opinions, even the ones you disagree with. Your life will become less stressful when you minimise conflict, a lot of which is anyway a result of your own rigidity and intolerance. Remember that if you considered the life experiences of others, you would probably be just like them. This understanding is wisdom.

4. Authenticity In Communication: 
If you have a team, encourage them to talk honestly and without fear. Create a ‘safe space’ in which people feel free to speak the truth without fear of reprisal. And practice the same yourself. Most issues get resolved once you allow people to be truthful in a safe and respectful environment. Creative solutions emerge and people feel more connected and aligned. Each individual then gives their best, making team's and organization's blossom.

5. Be Compassionate: 
There will always be times when a colleague misses a deadline, does a shoddy job, underperforms, reports late or displays bad attitude. Your first instinct at such times may be anger, harsh words or frustration. And while your reactions may be normal, given the overwhelming pressures of today’s workplace, just take a few deep breaths before sailing into anyone. Focus on yourself and recall a time when you may have been in a similar position. This is the beginning of compassion.

6. Embrace Personal Growth: 
Personal growth is the result of introspection and taming your ego. At work, you could start this process by learning to see the difference between disagreements and personal attacks, between feedback and criticism. Don’t let your ego get in the way of absorbing relevant inputs from co-workers as that could actually help your own growth.

7. Do What You Like Doing: 
If you are not passionate about your work, be honest and identify where your real passion lies. Once you have done that, try to either integrate it within your work or make a planned shift to making a livelihood out of what you are most passionate about. 

Recently a vice president of an IT company discovered his passion for making chocolates.

He started distributing samples to his colleagues and they were giving him large orders for Deepavali and other occasions. Two years later, his orders became so large that he quit his job and became a full-time chocolatier. Life has been pretty sweet ever since!

Till Death Do Us Apart...

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When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. 

I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. 

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. 

But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. 

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. 

Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this nothing will happen to you...

If you do, you just might save a marriage.."Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they are gave up"

Written by : Kimmes Floral (Source)

Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
Written by: Kimmies Floral
- See more at: http://avmedia.info/blog/married-or-not-you-should-read-this/#sthash.J8Kvlj8g.NNp8bRnU.dpuf

Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you.
If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”
Written by: Kimmies Floral
- See more at: http://avmedia.info/blog/married-or-not-you-should-read-this/#sthash.J8Kvlj8g.NNp8bRnU.dpuf

How You can be a Happier Person

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 HERE'S HOW YOU CAN BE A HAPPIER PERSON



We're all guilty of putting other things in our lives before our own happiness. Whether it's your job, children, your partner - or even your addiction to social media -that takes up most of your time, you probably need to become more `mindful'. What exactly is that? 

Well, mental health experts describe it as knowing directly what is going on inside and outside ourselves, moment by moment. 

Mark Williams, professor of clinical psychology , says that it can be an `antidote to the tunnel vision' we have developed in modern life, helping us to enjoy the world and making us happier. 

Psychological therapist Emma Kenny , who has worked for 17 years in therapy and 10 years in the media, gives us 12 steps to help increase our mindfulness. 

1. MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF
Having `me' time is essential for positive mental health. Spending time doing things that inspire you makes you happy. Whether it's baking, walking the dog, salsa dancing or practising meditation, self-activity inspires a positive attitude.

2. NURTURE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
Happiness comes from nurturing relationships, so make sure you make time for yours. Whether it's scheduling a date night with your partner, taking the kids to the park or having some cake with a friend, connection is an essential role in happiness.

3 SET YOURSELF GOALS
Make sure you list the things that you want from your life and then note how you intend to achieve them. Setting goals and working towards achieving them makes us feel great about ourselves and ensures you can reflect on your success.

4 LEARN TO RELAX
It doesn't matter how -be it taking a long soak in the bath, listening to relaxing music, or by going for an energising run; relaxing is essential in happiness. Try to set aside at least 20 minutes a day simply winding down.

5 LEARN TO BE SELFISH
Before you can make anyone else happy, you need to make sure you are.Look after your own needs first, this way you will have energy for everyone else's.

6 LEARN TO SAY NO
Instead of thinking of it as saying no to someone, think of it instead as saying yes to you. People who accept that saying no is a good thing, tend to feel happier and less overwhelmed than people who agree to do whatever they are asked.

7 DO SOMETHING YOU ARE AFRAID OF
Taking risks make us happy. Trying a new activity, facing a fear or joining a new interest group can feel scary, but the rewards are worth it. People who take risks tend to be happier and more successful than those who don't.

8 TRY TO LIVE IN THE PRESENT
So many of us are second guessing what's going to happen that we fail to experience what's happening right now and consequently end up missing out.Take a breath and look at how amazing your life is right now.

9 TAKE A DIGITAL DETOX
Stop comparing your life on social media with everyone else's. By putting your laptop, smart phone and tablets away, even if just for an evening or a couple of hours per day, you will significantly reduce anxiety.

10 GET OUTSIDE
Go for a walk or run in the fresh air, aside from being fantastic for your physical health, getting outside is fantastic for psychological well-being.When was the last time you simply stepped out and observed things around you? Sometimes, just sitting and watching the world go by can be a therapeutic experience.

11 TREAT YOURSELF
Whether it's a day to pamper yourself or a trip to the theatre with your best friend, rewarding yourself for simply being you is a great way to boost self esteem.

12 FIND YOUR STRENGTHS
Identify your personal strengths for a positivity boost! Noting how skilled we are in certain areas of our lives can remind us of just how talented we are and make us feel great.

13 SPEND TIME WITH YOUR PET
Pets give unconditional love.Spending quality time with your pet can be an enriching and calming experience. Take your pet for a walk or play catch. Their happiness is bound to rub off on you!

14 MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Catching up with old friends and reliving memories can actually be a great way to unwind and also boost your happiness levels. Whether you're meeting at a coffee shop or a swanky dinner place, laughing about old times will make you happy.

15 LET GO OF THE PAST
No matter how much you regret your past, holding on to it will never help you move ahead in life. Make peace with the past and learn to forgive -first yourself and then others.

16 BREATHE WELL
As innocuous as it sounds, taking deep breaths especially when you're bogged down with stress will help you deal with anxiety better.

Source Courtesy: The Times of India (Mumbai)

How God Answers Our Prayers - 2

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Welcome cup Tea...

A group of 15 solders led by a Major were on their way to the post in Himalaya where they would be deployed for the next 3 months. The batch who would be relieved waiting anxiously. 

It was cold winter & intermittent snowfall made the treacherous climb more difficult.

The major thought "If someone could offer a cup of tea. . ," knowing it was a futile wish..

They continued for an hour before they came across a dilapidated structure, which looked like a tea shop but locked. It was late in the night. 

"No tea boys, bad luck", said the major. But he suggested all take some rest there as they have been walking for 3 hours.

"Sir, this is a tea shop and we can make tea... We will have to break the lock", suggested one solder.

The officer was in great dilemma to the unethical suggestion but the thought of a steaming cup of tea for the tired solders made him to give the permission.

They were in luck, the place had everything needed to make tea and also packets of biscuits.  The solders had tea & biscuits and were ready for the remaining journey.

The major thought, they had broken open lock and had tea & biscuits without the permission of the owner. But they're not a band of thieves but disciplined soldiers. He took out a Rs 1000/- note from his wallet, placed it on the counter, pressed under sugar container, so that the owner can see. The officer was now relieved of his guilt. He ordered to put the shutter down and proceed.

Three months passed, they continued to do gallantly in their works and were lucky not to loose anyone from the group in the intense insurgency situation. It was time for another team to replace them. Soon they were on their way back and stopped at the same tea shop which was open and owner was present in the shop.
 

The owner an old man will meager resources was very happy to greet 15 customers.All of them had tea and biscuits. They talked to the old man about his life and experience specially selling tea at such a remote place. The old man had many stories to tell, replete with his faith in God. 

"Oh, Baba, if God is there, why should He keep you in such poverty?", commented one of them.

"Do not say like that Sahib! God actually is there, I got a proof 3 months ago."
 

"I was going through very tough times because my only son had been severely beaten by terrorist who wanted some information from him which he did not have. I had closed my shop to take my son to hospital. Some medicines were to be purchased and I had no money. No one would give me loan for fear of the terrorists. There was no hope, Sahib".

"And that day Sahib, I prayed to God for help. And Sahib, God walked into my shop that day."

"When I returned to my shop, I found lock broken, I felt I was finished, I lost whatever little I had. But then I saw that God had left Rs 1000/ under the sugar pot. I can't tell you Sahib what that money was worth that day. God exists Sahib. He does."

The faith in his eyes were unflinching.
 

Fifteen pairs of eyes met the eyes of the officer and read the order in his eyes clear and unambiguous, "Keep quiet".

The officer got up and paid the bill. He hugged the old man and said, "Yes Baba, I know God does exist. And yes, the tea was wonderful."

The the 15 pairs of eyes did not miss to notice the moisture building up in the eyes of their officer, a rare sight. 

THE TRUTH IS U CAN BE GOD TO ANYONE...as the saying goes deiva(m) manusya rupena...meaning god takes form of fellow human beings to help the needy.

Source Courtesy: Internet

8 ways to Awaken the Beautiful You....

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8 ways to Awaken the Beautiful You....

 - Vinita Dawra Nangia

Beauty is not the fiefdom of a chosen few; it is a crown anyone can claim, but only if you tap your hidden potential

Not all are lucky enough to have a Prince Charming kiss awake their beautiful selves ­ some do need to make efforts to nudge the beauty within. And that goes for men too.

The good news is that each of us has the potential to be beautiful and attractive, if we only knew how. Like all good things in life, of course, this requires effort, but the results are amazing.

Follow these eight steps to meet a more radiant and confident you …

Love yourself!

Beauty lies in the eyes yes, but not just in the eyes of the beholder. Learn to love your own self. We all tend to focus on our shortcomings and are harsh on ourselves, but the world sees a better picture in the whole package. Figure out your strengths and be proud of them. A trick to looking beautiful is feeling beautiful. If your eyes are your best feature, use them to your advantage; if it is your clear skin, let it shine like a beacon for you. In short, revel in your advantages.

Be aware and alert

Everyone is attracted to a man or woman who is well informed and happy to share. Intelligence, awareness and good conversational skills impart confidence and beauty, which is very attractive. It is important to keep sharpening your mind with challenges and to keep adding to your knowledge. Just being good looking is no ticket to personal or professional success, if you have a vacuous mind.

Stay healthy and fit

Taking good care of your looks and body is part of loving yourself. Hygiene is a given, but also spend time pampering and pushing yourself to stay fit. Health imparts a unique glow that is youthful and flattering. Spend two days slogging it out at the gym, and you will see the change for yourself.

Connect with your inner self

A peaceful face, relaxed body, slight smile and alert, happy eyes impart a beauty that no chiselled features, beauty products or surgeon’s scalpel can provide. This kind of contentment only comes when you are all sorted out inside. Make time to move away from the chaos and sit alone to listen to your inner voice. As you deal with issues that perturb you, you will feel peace and happiness descend.

Stand tall and walk confidently

You are generally perceived in the manner in which you project yourself.If you pull back your shoulders and walk with a confident stride, everyone will pay attention. Shuffle into a room awkwardly and you will be relegated to a corner. Smile and the world will come asking what keeps you happy; scowl and you will be left alone. A confident carriage adds inches to your height and turns heads, giving you added confidence and grace.

Stay happy and positive

There is nothing like happiness to give a gleam to your eyes and a glow to your face. The world loves a happy person, while steering clear of a grouch. Be peaceful and sleep well; this instantly enhances your looks. Stay upbeat and positive; it acts like a magnetic field that helps draw the happy stuff towards you.

Make time for yourself

All of us have our little spot in the sunshine every day ­ things we look forward to doing all by ourselves.

From soaking in a bubble bath to music to meditation to writing to books to TV to a massage ­ these are our little rewards. Do not underestimate these little indulgences ­ these help plug any holes in the soul and rejuvenate and recharge us, imparting inner peace and beauty.

Own your style

While it is fine to follow trends, not everything suits everyone. Develop your own individual style, which flatters your best features and takes attention away from the weaker areas. Take an objective look at yourself and wear what you feel comfortable in. Use clothes and accessories to draw attention to your more attractive features.

And then, armed with your best smile, a confident gleam in your eyes, a bounce in your step and warmth in your manner, set out to conquer the world with your inner beauty.

Courtesy : Times of India, Mumbai.

The author Vinita Dawra Nangia is a Senior Editor with The Times of India. Readers who want to keep track of her postings can follow her blog O-zone which reflects her incisive insights into the world around, offering a newer way of looking at life, people and the situations they find themselves in. 

Collect All Your Worries in a Box

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Collect All Your Worries in a Box

(discourse : Swami Sukhabodhananda)

On a pleasant, cool night, everyone in the apartment block had gone to bed after a nice dinner, and there was absolute silence. Early in the morning, the police came with a search warrant for carrying out a search operation at Apartment No.6. Their announcement about this was followed by a gunshot. 

Hearing all this, a person sleeping in the building next door got up shivering, His wife tried to calm him down. Finally, the police arrested the man in search of whom they had come and went on their way, but the man in the neighbouring building was still scared. Finally he decided to confess his fear and asked me, “Why am I feeling so fearful and scared?”

I explained to him in a comforting tone that fear is the absence of love. One has to bring light of love to the darkness of fear. You can’t do anything with darkness directly.  You can’t destroy it by action of will or throw it away. You have to bring the light of love.

“But my wife is a loving person,” he said.

 “Your wife may be a loving person, but are you receiving and validating that love in your heart? The flowers are beautiful, but the question is whether you are receiving and validating it or are you lost in your worries,” I asked.

You are no longer sensitive; you are highly sentimental, reacting to what is, from the framework of your likes and dislikes.  Being sensitive is being available to experience “what is” as what is. Most people are living a shallow life; they are not living and thinking deeply. If you live a shallow life, you will fail to see how you are limited by your wants, conclusions and prejudices.

“Do you mean to say, one should accept life as it comes and not change it,” asked the man. I said, “More than accepting, see things as they are. Be free to see what is, and in that freedom one is not bound.  When you see it, then you see the elegance in imperfection and from that space you will do or act on what is needed. This will not be out of conflict but out of harmony.

 

I said to him: Whenever you worry or have fear, write it down and put it into an imaginary box and stop worrying. Let us call this box as the ‘Friday Box’. Every Friday, open the imaginary box, scan through the written worries and see how you can solve it. But in-between don’t worry except to write down any new fear and put it in the imaginary box.

The following week he came to me and said, “It certainly works.  Most of my worries and fears have been solved but still there are about 25 per cent existing. What shall I do?” I said, “Put them also into an imaginary box that you will open only on the last Friday of the month; till then do not worry about it. Open that box once a month on the last Friday and scan through the worries. You will find that most of them will be solved if one stops worrying”.

Apply the technique of one to twenty. Write out 20 ways to solve your problem. Then, apply those ways. If you are calm, most of the problems will be solved, and if you are creative, any remaining problems also will be solved. Any problem remaining unresolved even after all these will make your life humble and challenging.  

Pizza and Meaning of Life

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AN INSPIRING STORY PIZZA

Wife: Don’t put so many clothes for wash today 

Husband: why ?

She said: maid has said she won’t come for two days
Husband: why ?
Wife: she said she is going to meet her granddaughter during Ganpati festival
Husband: OK, will not put too many clothes
Wife: and , shall I give her Rs. 500 for Ganpati ? Festival bonus ?
Husband: why ? Diwali is approaching , we will give her at that time..
Wife: Oh no dear. She is poor. Going to meet her daughter and granddaughter, so she will also feel nice. Moreover, everything has become so expensive these days. How will she able to celebrate festival ?
Husband: You ! I don’t know why you become emotional so easily
Wife: Oh dear, don’t worry. I am going to cancel today’s program of ordering Pizza. Why unnecessarily blow away Rs. 500 on eight pieces of stale bread.
Husband : wow. Great .Snatching Pizza from us and giving to the maid !
Maid returned after three days and got busy in mopping and dusting. Husband asked her
Husband : So, how was the vacation ?
Maid: very nice sahib.. Didi had given Rs 500 .. festival bonus.
Husband : So you went and met your daughter ? and also met your granddaughter ?
Maid: yes sahib. Enjoyed a lot and spent Rs 500 in two days time.
Husband : Really ? Ok so what did you do with Rs. 500?
Maid: Rs. 150 for dress for granddaughter, Rs 40 for a doll, bought sweets worth Rs 50 for daughter, Rs 50 as offering to Deity in temple, Rs 60 towards bus fare….Rs 25 for bangles for daughter, bought a nice belt worth Rs 50 for son-in-law, balance Rs 75 gave to daughter to buy copy and pencil for granddaughter. Maid gave a full account of the expenses incurred
Husband: so much in Rs 500?
 

With surprise, he started thinking….the 8 pieces of Pizza appeared in front of his eyes and each one of them acted as a hammer started pricking his consciousness. For the price of one Pizza , he started comparing the expenses his maid had incurred during her visit to her daughter. 

The 8 pieces of Pizza floated in front of his eyes. First piece .. dress for the child, 2nd piece… towards sweets.. 3rd piece… towards offering to the deity in the temple, 4th piece….towards bus fare, 5th piece.. towards doll, 6th piece towards bangles, 7th piece ..., towards belt for the son-in-law, and 8th piece towards copy and pencil.
 

So far he had observed pizza only from one angle. He turned it upside down and observe how it looks like from the other side. .. but today his maid showed him the other side of the pizza…. The 8 pieces of pizza showed him the real meaning of life..in an instant the meaning of “Spending for life” or “ Life for spending”. Think about it.

" It is not enough to list 10 movies you liked, you need to come up with the 10 scenes you loved within the 10 movies you liked and why, and then think of a different way in which you would have delivered the punch line. Challenge yourself! Give your mind a workout "  - Claudia Altucher

Father's Day - Letter to Son

Received from one of my friend on father's day...... Beautiful letter written by a father to his son. Must send to your children.

Following is a letter to his son from a renowned Hong Kong TV broadcaster cum Child Psychologist.  The words are actually applicable to all of us, young or old, children or parents.  This applies to daughters too. All parents can use this in their teachings to their children.

Dear son ,

I am writing this to you because of 3 reasons

1. Life, fortune and mishaps are unpredictable, nobody knows how long he lives. Some words are better said early.

2. I am your father, and if I don't tell you these, no one else will.

3. What is written is my own personal bitter experiences that perhaps could save you a lot of unnecessary heartaches. 

Remember the following as you go through life

1. Do not bear grudge towards those who are not good to you. No one has the responsibility of treating you well, except your mother and I. To those who are good to you, you have to treasure it and be thankful, and ALSO you have to be cautious, because, everyone has a motive for every move. When a person is good to you, it does not mean he really likes you. You have to be careful, don't hastily regard him as a real friend.

2. No one is indispensable, nothing is in the world that you must possess.
Once you understand this idea, it would be easier for you to go through life when people around you don't want you anymore, or when you lose what/who you love the most.

3. Life is short.
When you waste your life today, tomorrow you would find that life is leaving you. The earlier you treasure your life, the better you enjoy life.

4. Love is but a transient feeling, and this feeling would fade with time and with one's mood. If your so called loved one leaves you, be patient, time will wash away your aches and sadness.
Don't over exaggerate the beauty and sweetness of love, and don't over exaggerate the sadness of falling out of love.

5. A lot of successful people did not receive a good education, that does not mean that you can be successful by not studying hard! Whatever knowledge you gain is your weapon in life.
One can go from rags to riches, but one has to start from some rags!

6. I do not expect you to financially support me when I am old, neither  would I financially support your whole life. My responsibility as a supporter ends when you are grown up. After that, you decide whether  you want to travel in a public transport or in your limousine, whether rich or poor.

7. You honour your words, but don't expect others to be so. You can be good to people, but don't expect people to be good to you. If you don't understand this, you would end up with unnecessary troubles.

8. I have bought lotteries for umpteen years, but I could never strike any prize. That shows if you want to be rich, you have to work hard! There is no free lunch!

9. No matter how much time I have with you, let's treasure the time we have together. We do not know if we would meet again in our next life.

Your Dad
Happy Fathers Day

Make Your Heart Sing

This following article is sourced from speaking tree, times of india magazine paper on sundays. Simple yet to the point. I made small edits to make it more general so that it can be applied at all times.
 
Life coach BINDIYA MURGAI tells you how to get sprinting on the path of happiness 
For ages, spirituality and science have been trying to understand what really makes the heart sing. While this is difficult to answer, there’s some truth in the old cliché: ‘Money can’t buy you happiness.’ For, once your basic needs are met, the desire for ‘frills’ starts raising its head and mars your sense of satisfaction. So how does one stay happy in a world filled with temptations? Research shows that older people are usually more satisfied and less prone to dark moods, while people with higher IQ usually have higher levels of angst and disappointment. What about marital status? Does that also affect your happiness? Researchers feel that though some married people may be happier than singles, that’s probably because they were happier to begin with!

So, how can we ensure that future is happier for us? It’s entirely in our own hands. Here are 10 sure shot strategies to get you on the path of happiness year after year.

1 Enjoy small pleasures: Indulge in small pleasures, savour them. Like a yummy meal, a healthy body, a comfy bed. Keep a gratitude journal. Write down at least one thing every day that you are grateful for. From drinking a perfect cuppa to meeting a good friend. Be creative and avoid repetition.

2 Give generously: Giving makes you feel good about yourself, resulting in a “helper’s high.” It increases self-worth and creates a greater sense of connection with others. It distracts you from your own existence. So go ahead and give with an open heart. Feed the neighbourhood stray, or join a volunteer programme because in the words of Buddha, “Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

3 Say ‘sorry’, ‘thank you’, ‘I love you’: If you’ve wronged someone, no matter how long ago — apologise! It’s amazing how good you feel once you let go of the guilt. Next, thank someone who did something for you that you never took the time to appreciate. Express your appreciation in person, if possible. And finally, express your love to the ones who count. Don’t just expect them to know it. Say it in words!

4 Learn to forgive: Living happily-ever-after starts with forgiveness. Everyone experiences hurt, betrayal and disappointments, but you can’t keep carrying it around and hope to be happy. Practising forgiveness releases you from the past and changes your future. So, if someone has really hurt you, write a detailed letter of forgiveness to him. Read it. Then burn it. After that — let go.

5 Invest time in family and friends: Strong personal relationships are one of the biggest factors that determine happiness. So make sure you don’t take your close ones for granted. Invest time in them and add to your own bliss.

6 Take care of your body: Eight hours of sleep every night combined with regular exercise make you healthier, helps fix depression and mood swings. Exercise releases feel-good endorphins, increases stamina and creates a sense of accomplishment.

7 Keep the faith: There is no escaping the hard times, but there is a way to survive them — by keeping the faith. Belief in a higher power gives you strength, as do sayings like “This too shall pass.” But you need to believe in them. Know that no matter how bad the situation, it will change.

8 Avoid comparisons: According to the Bhagwad Gita, “There is nothing noble about being superior to another person. True nobility is in being superior to your previous self.” Accept that you are unique. Stop comparing yourself to others as this can be damaging to your happiness and self-esteem. Instead, focus on your own personal growth and achievements.

9 Be present: In English, the word ‘present’ has three different meanings: ‘here’, ‘now’ and ‘a gift.’ Realise that your most precious gift is the present moment. Break the pattern of spending time either hanging on to the past or worrying about the future. Start by enjoying the now with full-blooded passion and enthusiasm.

10 Make a fresh commitment: Okay, so the sceptic in you may wonder if people can just become happier through deliberate acts of kindness. Or by keeping a gratitude journal. Can a hardened pessimist learn to see the glass as half full? Can you actually learn to become consciously happier? Yes, you can, by renewing your commitment, everyday!

Courtesy: Speaking Tree